So...it's been a while, but that's what those dasterdly out-of-town guests and jobs can do to your free time! My only hope is that some unknown force will refrain from the need to get me.
It's futile, I suppose. Those bastards can always find you with their fancy internets! Technology, I curse thee!!! The aforementioned trouble is that technology has most likely already cursed us (and with 'no backs' to boot)!
Shall I present exhibits A and B? ...I'll take that as a yes, and on we go.
Exhibit A: The Net (1995)
Showtime: 9.04.08 _ 7:30 pm
Ahhh, the plight of the software engineer...poor creatures. They have enough problems as it is without the evil Pretorians chasing them all over town. I mean, Sandra Bullock couldn't even find a full length shirt to flee in! The lessons are clear, though: always click on that peculiar icon you never noticed before, and never attend a software conference.
As thrilling as this modern times tome may be, one can only wonder how evil white people will manipulate us with technology in the future...
Exhibit B: Demolition Man (1993)
Showtime: 9.05.08 _ 7:30 pm
Man oh man! Sandra Bullock must have really peeved off the interweb! I mean all of her wide-eyed policing in this flick came back to the future to bite her in The Net...
Anywho, at least future-Bullock has the ever-feisty Stallone to save her. I'm talkin' Sylvester, people. The mere presence of Frank Stallone would most certainly result in immanent doom. Point being, there is only one man that could rise from a cryogenic nappy time and single-handedly save L.A. powered by gourmet Taco Bell and armed with knitting needles. Now if he could only figure out those confounded seashells!
Also, in a 1993 world there is only one man that could challenge him: a black man. And there's only one black man sad enough to take the part of Simon 'rise from the goo-snooze' Phoenix: Wesley Snipes.
This is "Technology is gonna git ya" Night.
Monday, September 1, 2008
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